ZA/UM: In bed with ZA/UM

Monday, February 13, 2012

In bed with ZA/UM

Robert ja Luiga

Helen ja Aleksander

Helen ja Ruudu

Mudlum

Lilian ja CK

Jim ja Kristo

45 comments:

Martin LuigaFebruary 13, 2012 at 8:59 PM
1. Need liliani varbad lähevad ikka eriti hulluks ära.
2. Kristo ja Jim panid meile pika puuga ära.
3. Kõik peaks Mudlumile ütlema, et ta on kojn.

Nii kõva on kõik.
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MudlumFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:08 PM
Kristo ja Jim on ka minu lemmikud. Tüdrukutest muidugi ei maksa üldse rääkida.
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helen hinFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:12 PM
nonii, kui siia ei ilmu sada viitekümment ühte anonüümset kommentaari a'la "kojn", "kuum", "ultrakojn", siis väiksed tüdrukud (ja kiwa) - ma olen teis pettunud. mis inimesed te olete, kui jim ja kristo teid külmaks jätavad?
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EiaFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:20 PM
Väga!
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TõnuFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:21 PM
Haha! oosom! poisid võidavad seekord jah.
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HHFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:33 PM
Awwyeah, everybody's lookin' real good! K6igi pildid teevad mingeid isemoodi hulle asju ka. Aga jah, Kristo ja Jimi oma ei saa mitte kylmaks jåtta!
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Lilian Marie MerilaFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:34 PM
Ma olen hullumeelsuse märke enda puhul siit ja sealt uurinud, aga varbad on siiani kahtlusaluste listist välja jäänud. Mis mu varvastega on? :D
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:50 PM
omfg nii kojn
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Mihkel KunnusFebruary 13, 2012 at 10:03 PM
[Kojn? mida paganat tähendab kojn? Isegi Google ei aita..]

Väga mall!

[Kas keegi mäletab veel, et "mall" tähistas kunagi ülimat esteetilist heakskiitu?]

Millised kenadused!

[A.H.T. räägib ikka kenadustest...]
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Kristo ViidingFebruary 13, 2012 at 10:52 PM
minu hääl läheb luiksile ja robile.

tsiteerides jimmi: nad on kui mingid ebamaised olevused, vaatavad meie peale, kuskilt oma laevalt. parimad silmadepaarid.
nad on ka ainsad kes kassi ära sebisid.
ja eriliselt ägedad on need nähtamatut gunsid nende sõrmitsustes.

aga mis missivõistlus see üldse olgu.?

lilianile kummardus ja kätemüra

nii algas draakon.
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poliitiliselt korrektne printsessFebruary 13, 2012 at 11:19 PM
Veidi k6he on siin korraliku ja religioosse USA avalik-akadeemilises raamatukogus nii kirgedest laetud pilte vaadata. Et 2kki tuleb kohe keegi v2lja viskama. Aga no raisk, siis oleks ka Eesti eest!

Yhtlasi: pikad kooliaastad oleksid m2rksa l6busamad olnud, kui oleksin teadnud Jimi ja Kristo tulevikust sellist glamuuri oodata.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Luiga on kassi näoga. Minu lugupidamine
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Robert KurvitzFebruary 14, 2012 at 2:24 AM
Mulle meeldib see, kuidas keegi Mihklile ei ütle, mida "kojn" tähendab. : D
INT. Päev. Ülikooli Raamatukogu. Mihkel Kunnus käib hantlid käes ringi ja küsib kõigilt mureliku näoga: "Mis on kojn?"

"Mida tähendab kojn?"

Aga kuna liiga pikk kestvus võib ka heatahtliku nalja kurjaks muuta, olgu öeldud, et "kojn" tuleb 80te punkarite slängist. Algversioonis tegusõna "koinima", ehk "keppima". Kojn tähendab siis "kepp", stiilis "Hullult kepp tüüp". Selle viimase tähenduse, koos jotiga, oleme sinna vist ise leiutanud. Jott on seal sellepärast, et nii on Ida-Euroopam, mõnusam, veidi ka nõmedam ja kindlasti ärgitab see sõna õigesti hääldama. See on hea sõna. Aitab täita "coolist" jäetud tühimikku, kõikehõlmava esteetilise väärtuse tähistajat. "Cool" nimelt on nüüdseks Bart Simpson, see ei tööta enam.

Mõistagi on kojn ka aktiivne, kvaasimüstiline jõud, mis kehastub inimeses ja kõike muud seda väikse ringi pläma. Kojn count / midichlorian count. Samavõrdselt nagu "kõva" on pigem eetiline ja vaimne, on "kojn" pigem esteetiline ja füüsiline, kuigi kattuvaid momente on palju.

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Robert KurvitzFebruary 14, 2012 at 2:29 AM
PS Mulle meeldib mõelda, kuidas see Liliani oma kulendite vahele haaranud meesmodell ütleb inimestele: "söö sitta parm" ja "kahma lutti ventiil".

PS jopakoll teisest kommentaariumist - kahma ka minu poolt lutti!
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2012 at 5:29 AM
ma ei tea, need ruudu huuled ja keha on küll täiesti kojn.

ma vist downloadin selle pildi, photoshopin ennast kõrvale ja panen desktop backgroundiks.
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Bibitum -February 14, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Mudlum on hurmav.

Robi ja Luiksi oreoolid on üllatavalt erinevad... Kaur Kenderile meeldivad sellised, mis mahuvad 5-kroonise mündi alla. Heiti Kenderile meeldivad sandaalid ja nahktagid.

"Nii algab draakon" on ääretult võluv lõpulause - tänapäeva "Nii kõneles Zarathustra", sest "Amen!" on nagu ikoon - liiga palju ja liiga vähe.
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TasujaFebruary 14, 2012 at 10:57 AM
Mulle meeldib kass. Ma tahaks endast ka fotoseeriat, kus on hästi pehme ja unenäoline olla pesuväel ja pehme kassiga koos nurruda. Tüdrukud Helen ja Ruudu ka, väga ilmekas :)
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Gabriela LiivamägiFebruary 14, 2012 at 11:40 AM
tiptop!
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2012 at 4:32 PM
kes on ck?
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CKFebruary 14, 2012 at 7:26 PM
Alates järgmisest hooajast on CK Sean Connery. Praegu on veel Roger Moore, enne seda oli David Craig.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2012 at 9:39 PM
CK võiks Rostovist eeskuju võtta. Kanna trakse, kui püksid üleval ei püsi
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AnonymousFebruary 16, 2012 at 5:17 PM
Robert, kas sa tahad seda kassi nussida?
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Robert KurvitzFebruary 16, 2012 at 5:44 PM
Another day, another false accusation! Äkki sa ise tahad seda kassi nussida, CK One?
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Robert KurvitzFebruary 16, 2012 at 7:35 PM
Siis jääb vaid arvata, et tegemist on mingi raging zoofiiliga, kes tahab ennast vahelduseks /b/le kodumaa keeles väljendada.
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Robert KurvitzFebruary 19, 2012 at 2:45 PM
Muuseas, kas siin all on see koht, kus saab lõuata sellest, kui ilus on uus kujundus? Mulle tundub, et siin on paslik. Et ma siis lõugan nüüd - ilus on, ilus ja puhas ja domeen on ka hullult kena! Aitäh Rostov!
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EvaFebruary 19, 2012 at 6:05 PM
Oo, milline kuum pildiseeria. Kõige kojnim pilt on Ruudust ja Helenist.
Ja Mudlum on väga kaunis, nagu alati.
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rrFebruary 19, 2012 at 6:41 PM
Kes on ära unustanud, kuidas üks Mees välja näeb, vaadaku Rostovit.
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ppFebruary 19, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Kes on ära unustanud, kuidas üks Lolita välja näeb, vaadaku Helenit.
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meilt ja mujalt

HALLI ELEVANDI NEEDUS
(telekamängud nõukogudemaal)

Dokumentaalfilm. Maailma kõige lahedam tüüp räägib tund aega telekamängudest nõukogudemaal.

KASSA KUULED?! KASSA KUULED MU ÄÄLT? KASSA KUULED?! KASSA KUUUULED MU ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄLT?!

"RUSSIAN FUTURISTS BLACK OUT THE SUN"
LUKE HAINES

Futurismo no 1

Drive out to the woods
and don't stop until you reach a glade
by a frozen lake

And run for your life
the body's cold and it's rotting fast
in the the boot of a car

Whatever you do
don't look behind you
whatever you do
just run and run

St. Petersburg is a hundred miles away
on a clear day
russian nihilists black out the czar

At the Stray Dog cafe
we owe you nothing,
just a slap in the face
of public taste
Futurismo no 1.
we give you cosmonauts in Luna Park
on a war against the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa
this show will run and run

St. Petersburg is a hundred miles away
on a clear day
Russian Futurists black out the sun

One day we'll make history
and they'll thank us for all we have done
when we were cruel and young
Russian Futurists black out the sun

At the Stray Dog cafe
we owe you nothing,
just a slap in the face
of public taste
Futurismo no 1
we give you cosmonauts in Luna park
on a war against the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa
this war will run and run

All the peasants say
Gorky park is 20 years away
Russian Futurists black out the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa

Cat Video Archives

ROBERT KURVITZ is a normal guy. Just a normal guy, a straight up fella. Not that different from you, actually. Man has a job and an education, contributes to society. Mildly ideological in as far as he values human life, but nothing too out there. Everything about him is trustworthy and normal and there is little else to say on the subject. Maybe it's YOU, who's the suspicious character?

MARTIN LUIGA used to frequent the men's TOP 100 on Estonia's pioneering vanity site Rate.ee during the early two thousands. His interest in numbers has not waned; nowadays, the man mostly begs for fresh ass text contributing towards a hazy but nonetheless somewhat inspiring concept of his own design, the Text Victory. On said field, the gentleman's success can be considered moderate.

ALEKSANDER ROSTOV, is silent man and a terrible human being. Beware his friendly, casual demeanor - deep inside he thinks you're a fucking retard and need to die.

HELEN HINDPERE has so many drafts in her blogger account it's not even funny. An archetype of a ZA/UM reader turned contributor, she is an aspiring lady of letters, a writer-to-be if you will. Her flaming red hair signaling both the tone of her heart as well as her passion for words, books and all those boring dusty learny things. A woefully rare combination of kojn, smarts and goodwill she also holds down a part-time job as the unofficial secret mascot of ZA/UM.

JOANNA ELLMANN is that rarest of phenomen - a poetess (yes, we though Sappho was the last one as well). Her work is appropriately described as either "mystic" or "visionary". Accordingly, she shows an academic competence in poetic tradition, as well as shamanistic theory and other fields of ethnology. As a promoter of culture she's taken up an avid interest in many an endeovor, as long as they display a certain degree of radical thinking and poetic value.

KASPAR KALVET is a globe-trotting financial analyst. When he's not busy flooding the market with incomprehensible real-estate instruments, he travels the far reaches of this planet, admiring his handy-work unfold as financial catastrophes. A well-read gentleman, with ice-cold wits, Kalvet dissects matters as complicated as global economics or the stream-of-conciousness narrative technique. As an ardent geographer, expect his reports from the vertigo depths of lake Altai, via Gobi desert to the Land of Fire and Ice.

RUUDU ULAS has taken up the unforgiving mission of creating meaningful imagery using delicate machinery and vicious chemical compounds, darkness and light, although said practice has been trivialized, shunned, commercialized, misused and spat upon since it’s very beginnings, although it brings more pain than pleasure and her presence would be weighty enough if she never did a damn thing, spending her life critizising her surroundings instead.

LILIAN MARIE MERILA is a professional fashion photographer. An advocate of beauty, both human or otherwise, she admires cheek bones and collar bones, sure, though a river of late evening traffic, all diamond headlights and radience... goes just as well. In fashion terms this means she walks the tight-rope between glamour and rock´n´roll. With her sense of style and a laid-back attitude towards culture, she represents a sort of lady of blessings, lending an air of credibility to everything she comes to approve of.

MADE LUIGA is the Queen Mother of this humble culture association, all clad in gems and flowery fabrics of a thousand colours, surrounded by strange beasts and exotic paraphernalia, notably black slave figurines and vases depicting camels. She encompasses the whole of society as it should be, and does each thing: presides over matter, leads people to war, makes hefty bargains and writes the most detailed descriptions of times long gone that will break your heart.

HELEN HAAV is a Kantian judicator. She spends most of her days judicating from the Kingdom of Ends. When she's not judicating from the Kingdom of Ends, you can find her - there, in the Kindgom of Ends. Judicating. Judge, jury, executioner style. Always outnumbered, never outgunned. Judicar Haav is what they call her in that hypothetical state of existence derived from the categorical imperative. Benevolent, merciless, she puts the "Kantian" in our Kantian Death Squad. Tread lightly!

JIM ASHILEVI is a former child actor. You might remember him (please remember him!) as Muzzy's little friend, the alien, from the English language educational show "Muzzy Comes Back". But Muzzy never came back, the shoot was over, the red eye of the camera switched off, and with it, Jim faded into obscurity. He's been desperately trying to climb back into the limelight ever since, publishing plays ("Like Boys in the Rain", "Porcelainsmoke" - please know some of them!) and a measure of short prose fiction . . . and theatre directing . . . and film . . . whatever it takes, basically.

KRISTO VIIDING is a master thespian and resident of the National Drama Theater. His dashing siegfried looks and baritone delivery have earned him the prestigious Voldemar Panso award. And with it, a spot in the highest echelon of our nation’s thespians: the cast of a certain Home in the center of a certain City. When not flexing his acting muscles, Mr Viiding endeavors to coalesce film, prose, music and poetry into a kind of supreme amalgamation of arts –The Ultimate Art, if you will - Nicola Tesla, Wall of Light style!

TRIIN TASUJA Rather being lost than found, this loud- and dirtymouthed jenny-from-the-block character is never too steady, calm or satisfied with things she sees. Fear has become her partner in crime ever since the day she saw the big crack between her own made up world and The Big Fat Reality. From that on you may never know when one battle begins and other one ends.

CAROLINA PIHELGAS is a writer and an avid translator of poesy. Having translated from five languages, poetic analysis follows naturally. In her own poems fraulein Pihelgas has been known to reference the many bizarre places she has visited as a travelling minstrel. She has, for example, sailed the Pacific in a small sailyacht. Although she appears to be taken at the moment, her interests include: red wine, anarchy.

POLIITILISELT KORREKTNE PRINTSESS is no damsel in distress. True, you can find her sitting high in her ivory tower, but she is there quite of her own volition, honing her academic tools and her famed dry wit, and woe betide those on whom she unleashes her weapons! She has no patience for the follies and frivolities of lesser men, and her turnoffs include: enthusiasm, optimism.

SIIM "ŠNURKA" NURKLIK is a gatling-gun of a man. Look up, notice the speck of light in the night sky? That's the "Ultima Vox" calibrating its many orbital lasers. Look lower! That is a flock of B-52's parting the air at subsonic (but still impressive) speeds. Look even lower, that, my friend, is a fleet of dreadnoughts cleaving the oceans, their gray cannons glimmer in the blinding noon sun. Now look around you, it's a congress of tanks, their caterpillar crawlers muddied with the dry brown blood of enemies. Listen, hear the uneasy silence - they are all loaded up and ready to engage, their thick reinforced hulls packed to the brim with the deadliest of payloads: Words. Best you hope the gun ain't pointed at you, son.

ARGO TUULIK is the return of the fabled Proletariat Writer, thought extinct since the late eighties. A devilish stand-up comedian clad in the social armor of a car mechanic, this lazarus species has proven to be as irresistable to the populous as its predecessor, the fouilleton writer. Although he cannot be held responsible for what the lords of humor see fit to spew forth from his mouth, and even though his unaccountability is beset by a downright loveable personal nature, one should not understimate specimen C-41. ARKS is our superweapon directed at the masses.

JANNO LEPIND is a model citizen - a man to make a man after - an adventurer of the yesteryear, one of them „that like to get their drink on“ and a masterful tale-spinner. In the latter years he has been heard to promote a healthy agrarian worldview with an emphasis on the importance of food production. The man is also notably adequate at producing photocopies of the world, but that’s not too big of a deal for him.