Sunday, July 29, 2012

Cabinet God

Used to have a legion of fiery minions, I did, great and terrible, they'd sing praises to me day and night. Made by my own design, fiercely loyal, quite proud of them, I was. I seem to have misplaced them, though. Did they not want to sing to me anymore, or did I maybe get tired of them? Did they get boring, repetitive, maybe? Did I deleted them on send them away? Could it be, that they went to live with the People? I can't recall.

There was a time, once, when I could hold in my mind all there is and all there was and all there will be, and also what could be and would be. Now I don't remember half the history.

Could I force this world to an end? I do not dare to try. If it was, that I couldn't, then I'd feel completely powerless. If I'd succeed in it, then maybe I couldn't turn it back on. I'd be completely alone again. Just like in the beginning.

Did I make them ants bury that pistol or would they do it to any old thing? Which one of them is male or female, anyway? I don't remember the first thing about ants. I remember plate tectonics, though. It was like grinding the Earth slowly, with great force. Good times.

This world, I like parts of it, it's not all bad. Yet there is something horribly wrong with being it's God. Something that I don't remember. Mayhaps one of them People would know more about me than I do now, but I'm too afraid to ask. They might not like me, might not like me at all. I'd better stay hidden. They must not find me. Could I die? There's no way for me to find that out, really. Best to keep myself safe.

I remember Moses. Moses was a tall guy. I could speak to Moses, he understood me. Had respect. I miss him. There was also a Devil-character who was interesting to be around. We played all sorts of games. I remember him as friend. Or have I just imagined them? Have I made myself the way I am now at will, or could it not be helped? A great host of beings of light and earth alike would sing me praises once, but did they really know the truth of it? "Trust", I remember, was one of the words, and the other one was "faith". Have trust, have faith, have patience.


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