ZA/UM: August 2012

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

ZA/UM suvepuhkusel!

CHICA/UM, smartphone summer memories

Käesolevaga teatab ZA/UM, et läheb suvepuhkusele ning naaseb uue materjaliga täpselt 1. septembril.

Neil aga, kes suve senimöödunud osa jooksul ZA/UMist eemal olnud on (aga ka kõikidel teistel) palub ja soovitab toimetus tähelepanu pöörata viimase aja saavutustele kunstiosakonnas - ilmunud on kaks märkimisväärset postitust: Eesti parimaid tehnilisi joonistajaid Anton Vill ja tema visandid ning Aleksander Rostov ja kunstiprojektid.

Ja veel!

Juunist juulini oli eetris ilukirjanduslik projekt. Initsiaator JFL tutvustab lõigatud vilju:

1. Helen Hindpere "Kaadreid dokfilmile"

Korralik Ida-Euroopa košmaar. Mänguväljakud roostetavad, paneelmajade trepikodades pole elektrit ja 90ndad... 90ndad ei ole lõppemas. Elatustaseme asemel tõuseb hoopis kummaline epideemia. Kohe läheb asi väga halvaks. Sõjavägi tuleb tänavatele. Avalikus telepöördumises komandanditunni kohta lõikab peastaabi major endale noaga näkku. Naabrimamma lõikab endale noaga näkku...

Tallinn, milles Heleni kavandatud sündmused aset leiavad, ei ole see umbne ja väike halvastivalgustatud elutuba nagu ta on siis, kui sa reede õhtul välja lähed. See on mõnus betoonine kriisiolukorra Vembu-Tembumaa, kus nurga taga on ootamas hulkuvate koerte kari ja lageda platsi peal saab kuuli.

2. Siim Nurklik "::"

Lisaks loole endale meeldib mulle väga, et selle all on tänase seisuga ainult kolm kommentaari (sisuliselt üks). Tõsiselt underrated tekst - lendas üldiselt vist radari alt läbi aga läks sellest seeriast mulle puhtisiklikult kõige enam korda. Lühike kuid lihvitud ja terviklik kirjeldus kaasaegsest sprezzaturast - õukonnaelu läbi Instagrami filtri, kitsaste värviliste pükste ja vinüüliümbriste, mille taga on seesama värin, mis Castiglione-aegses aadelkonnas. Heitlikud tunded, sõitvad katused, vastavalt tagasisidele pidevalt muutuvad poosid.

Dokumentaalne ent soe ja kuidagi heatahtliku tooniga tekst. Nüüd on vist ka õige hetk avaldada kahetsust, et omal ajal essees Snurkale sisse sõitsin.

3. Minu enda "Hobulausuja"

Kuigi algselt seda eitasin, näen nüüd tõepoolest võimalust, kuidas siit võib-olla kunagi midagi veidi suuremat välja kasvatada.

4. Martin Luiga "Valge pidal"

Üks meie aja relevantsemaid eestikeelseid mõtlejaid kirjutab: "Nii nagu mina sellest aru saan, on tegemist pigem essee piire nihutava essseistika kui ilukirjandusega. Mis pole mõistagi halb asi, esseevorm käib ilukirjandusest alati läbi, tihtipeale on esseesse libisemise kohad kõige mahlakamad osad ilukirjandusest. (Siia võib algusesse ja lõppu raamatukaanteks kujutleda mingeid ilukirjanduslikke kohti - tegelt sellised lausa VÕIKSIDKI olla siin, tuleks see pidali asi selgeini välja.) Essee ilukirjanduses on sellepärast kõva asi, et see on vabastatud "ajalehte kirjutatud essee" autistlikust eeldusest, et essee peab peab esitama autori arvamust. See võib olla lihtsalt diadaktiline kirjatükk, mingi mõttelaadi näidis." Mul jääb üle vaid nõustuda.

Ilusat suve, kohtumiseni esimesel septembril!

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meilt ja mujalt

HALLI ELEVANDI NEEDUS
(telekamängud nõukogudemaal)

Dokumentaalfilm. Maailma kõige lahedam tüüp räägib tund aega telekamängudest nõukogudemaal.

KASSA KUULED?! KASSA KUULED MU ÄÄLT? KASSA KUULED?! KASSA KUUUULED MU ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄLT?!

"RUSSIAN FUTURISTS BLACK OUT THE SUN"
LUKE HAINES

Futurismo no 1

Drive out to the woods
and don't stop until you reach a glade
by a frozen lake

And run for your life
the body's cold and it's rotting fast
in the the boot of a car

Whatever you do
don't look behind you
whatever you do
just run and run

St. Petersburg is a hundred miles away
on a clear day
russian nihilists black out the czar

At the Stray Dog cafe
we owe you nothing,
just a slap in the face
of public taste
Futurismo no 1.
we give you cosmonauts in Luna Park
on a war against the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa
this show will run and run

St. Petersburg is a hundred miles away
on a clear day
Russian Futurists black out the sun

One day we'll make history
and they'll thank us for all we have done
when we were cruel and young
Russian Futurists black out the sun

At the Stray Dog cafe
we owe you nothing,
just a slap in the face
of public taste
Futurismo no 1
we give you cosmonauts in Luna park
on a war against the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa
this war will run and run

All the peasants say
Gorky park is 20 years away
Russian Futurists black out the sun

Kiev, Kharkov and Odessa

Cat Video Archives

ROBERT KURVITZ is a normal guy. Just a normal guy, a straight up fella. Not that different from you, actually. Man has a job and an education, contributes to society. Mildly ideological in as far as he values human life, but nothing too out there. Everything about him is trustworthy and normal and there is little else to say on the subject. Maybe it's YOU, who's the suspicious character?

MARTIN LUIGA used to frequent the men's TOP 100 on Estonia's pioneering vanity site Rate.ee during the early two thousands. His interest in numbers has not waned; nowadays, the man mostly begs for fresh ass text contributing towards a hazy but nonetheless somewhat inspiring concept of his own design, the Text Victory. On said field, the gentleman's success can be considered moderate.

ALEKSANDER ROSTOV, is silent man and a terrible human being. Beware his friendly, casual demeanor - deep inside he thinks you're a fucking retard and need to die.

HELEN HINDPERE has so many drafts in her blogger account it's not even funny. An archetype of a ZA/UM reader turned contributor, she is an aspiring lady of letters, a writer-to-be if you will. Her flaming red hair signaling both the tone of her heart as well as her passion for words, books and all those boring dusty learny things. A woefully rare combination of kojn, smarts and goodwill she also holds down a part-time job as the unofficial secret mascot of ZA/UM.

JOANNA ELLMANN is that rarest of phenomen - a poetess (yes, we though Sappho was the last one as well). Her work is appropriately described as either "mystic" or "visionary". Accordingly, she shows an academic competence in poetic tradition, as well as shamanistic theory and other fields of ethnology. As a promoter of culture she's taken up an avid interest in many an endeovor, as long as they display a certain degree of radical thinking and poetic value.

KASPAR KALVET is a globe-trotting financial analyst. When he's not busy flooding the market with incomprehensible real-estate instruments, he travels the far reaches of this planet, admiring his handy-work unfold as financial catastrophes. A well-read gentleman, with ice-cold wits, Kalvet dissects matters as complicated as global economics or the stream-of-conciousness narrative technique. As an ardent geographer, expect his reports from the vertigo depths of lake Altai, via Gobi desert to the Land of Fire and Ice.

RUUDU ULAS has taken up the unforgiving mission of creating meaningful imagery using delicate machinery and vicious chemical compounds, darkness and light, although said practice has been trivialized, shunned, commercialized, misused and spat upon since it’s very beginnings, although it brings more pain than pleasure and her presence would be weighty enough if she never did a damn thing, spending her life critizising her surroundings instead.

LILIAN MARIE MERILA is a professional fashion photographer. An advocate of beauty, both human or otherwise, she admires cheek bones and collar bones, sure, though a river of late evening traffic, all diamond headlights and radience... goes just as well. In fashion terms this means she walks the tight-rope between glamour and rock´n´roll. With her sense of style and a laid-back attitude towards culture, she represents a sort of lady of blessings, lending an air of credibility to everything she comes to approve of.

MADE LUIGA is the Queen Mother of this humble culture association, all clad in gems and flowery fabrics of a thousand colours, surrounded by strange beasts and exotic paraphernalia, notably black slave figurines and vases depicting camels. She encompasses the whole of society as it should be, and does each thing: presides over matter, leads people to war, makes hefty bargains and writes the most detailed descriptions of times long gone that will break your heart.

HELEN HAAV is a Kantian judicator. She spends most of her days judicating from the Kingdom of Ends. When she's not judicating from the Kingdom of Ends, you can find her - there, in the Kindgom of Ends. Judicating. Judge, jury, executioner style. Always outnumbered, never outgunned. Judicar Haav is what they call her in that hypothetical state of existence derived from the categorical imperative. Benevolent, merciless, she puts the "Kantian" in our Kantian Death Squad. Tread lightly!

JIM ASHILEVI is a former child actor. You might remember him (please remember him!) as Muzzy's little friend, the alien, from the English language educational show "Muzzy Comes Back". But Muzzy never came back, the shoot was over, the red eye of the camera switched off, and with it, Jim faded into obscurity. He's been desperately trying to climb back into the limelight ever since, publishing plays ("Like Boys in the Rain", "Porcelainsmoke" - please know some of them!) and a measure of short prose fiction . . . and theatre directing . . . and film . . . whatever it takes, basically.

KRISTO VIIDING is a master thespian and resident of the National Drama Theater. His dashing siegfried looks and baritone delivery have earned him the prestigious Voldemar Panso award. And with it, a spot in the highest echelon of our nation’s thespians: the cast of a certain Home in the center of a certain City. When not flexing his acting muscles, Mr Viiding endeavors to coalesce film, prose, music and poetry into a kind of supreme amalgamation of arts –The Ultimate Art, if you will - Nicola Tesla, Wall of Light style!

TRIIN TASUJA Rather being lost than found, this loud- and dirtymouthed jenny-from-the-block character is never too steady, calm or satisfied with things she sees. Fear has become her partner in crime ever since the day she saw the big crack between her own made up world and The Big Fat Reality. From that on you may never know when one battle begins and other one ends.

CAROLINA PIHELGAS is a writer and an avid translator of poesy. Having translated from five languages, poetic analysis follows naturally. In her own poems fraulein Pihelgas has been known to reference the many bizarre places she has visited as a travelling minstrel. She has, for example, sailed the Pacific in a small sailyacht. Although she appears to be taken at the moment, her interests include: red wine, anarchy.

POLIITILISELT KORREKTNE PRINTSESS is no damsel in distress. True, you can find her sitting high in her ivory tower, but she is there quite of her own volition, honing her academic tools and her famed dry wit, and woe betide those on whom she unleashes her weapons! She has no patience for the follies and frivolities of lesser men, and her turnoffs include: enthusiasm, optimism.

SIIM "ŠNURKA" NURKLIK is a gatling-gun of a man. Look up, notice the speck of light in the night sky? That's the "Ultima Vox" calibrating its many orbital lasers. Look lower! That is a flock of B-52's parting the air at subsonic (but still impressive) speeds. Look even lower, that, my friend, is a fleet of dreadnoughts cleaving the oceans, their gray cannons glimmer in the blinding noon sun. Now look around you, it's a congress of tanks, their caterpillar crawlers muddied with the dry brown blood of enemies. Listen, hear the uneasy silence - they are all loaded up and ready to engage, their thick reinforced hulls packed to the brim with the deadliest of payloads: Words. Best you hope the gun ain't pointed at you, son.

ARGO TUULIK is the return of the fabled Proletariat Writer, thought extinct since the late eighties. A devilish stand-up comedian clad in the social armor of a car mechanic, this lazarus species has proven to be as irresistable to the populous as its predecessor, the fouilleton writer. Although he cannot be held responsible for what the lords of humor see fit to spew forth from his mouth, and even though his unaccountability is beset by a downright loveable personal nature, one should not understimate specimen C-41. ARKS is our superweapon directed at the masses.

JANNO LEPIND is a model citizen - a man to make a man after - an adventurer of the yesteryear, one of them „that like to get their drink on“ and a masterful tale-spinner. In the latter years he has been heard to promote a healthy agrarian worldview with an emphasis on the importance of food production. The man is also notably adequate at producing photocopies of the world, but that’s not too big of a deal for him.